Recently I was diagnosed with a chronic condition, one that is debilitating in everyday life, and one that I had unknowingly suffered with for many years. That condition is RESTING BITCH FACE (or RBF for short).
It’s a real problem, with millions of us suffering in silence. And it’s not just normal chicks – the likes of Rihanna, Cara Delevingne and the Kardashians are cursed with a RBF. Kristen Stewart has become the poster child of RBF (much to her dismay). And even Yeezus himself, Kanye West, has been noted as having a Resting Bitch Face.
It really does effect every aspect of life – work, socialising and even relationships of the romantic kind. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof.
My husband-to-be, whom I have been with for seven years, still can’t tell when I’m upset, and false accusations of such usually lead to an argument starting with me yelling ‘well I wasn’t, but I am now!’.
And being the anxious type, I can’t help but sometimes worry about how my miserable face must be a massive turn-off, and that he’s gonna run away with a chirpy little minx who’s always smiling for no reason. Like a creepy clown. The clown that stole my man.
Friendships are also effected by the permanent grimace. It’s harder to socialize when you look angry/ grumpy/ like you’re going to rip someone’s head off if they so much as look in your direction. This means making friends is a tedious task, filled with forced smiles and over-enthusiasm, just to counteract the stern, unapproachable expression carved into your face.
It’s not even easy to make friends with fellow bitch faces, as unless we wear badges stating ‘I’m not angry, it’s just my face’, you just end up looking at a RBF-sista thinking ‘Woah, what a miserable bitch!’.
Working with people can be hellish enough, but that Hell is all the more fiery thanks to Resting Bitch Face. ‘Cheer up, it can’t be that bad/ it might never happen’ or ‘Are you happy? Yes? Try telling your face’ (which, for the record, is just downright rude) are daily occurrences, and the chance of a customer complaint for bad service is increased tenfold. Customer service calls for forced smiles as it is, but RBF means extra effort is involved.
EVERY DAMN DAY.
Life in general, people feel the need to tell you to cheer up and that you look miserable, which if anything makes you feel worse, and is pretty much the same as telling someone they’re ugly. IT’S MY FACE, I CAN’T CHANGE MY FACE.
Well, I could, but I think going under the knife is a bit extreme (although there are cosmetic surgeons specialising in fixing bitch faces).
There is some light at the end of the tunnel though.
The awesome Rene Paulson, founder of Elite Research and consultant at Texas Women’s University argues (and basically proves) having Resting Bitch Face makes you better at communicating.
In an article for Quartz she said: “Women confronted by a world that automatically attaches negative attributes to their non-smiling face must quickly learn how to communicate and also hone a finely-tuned awareness of both our own emotions and the emotions of those around us.
“Women used to being constantly misunderstood focus more on the words someone says, rather than their tone, body cues, or facial expressions, ensuring a more effective flow of information between both parties.”
But what we really need is awareness.
If only more shows got the point across as perfectly as this on-freaking-point bit from CONAN.
“You’re calling people out on something they can’t even really control.” YES ANDY.
“Plus, it’s sexist, you know? Sure, you have the Kanye picture, but resting bitch face has the word bitch in it, and that implies it’s mostly women.” THANK YOU CONAN.
“Yeah. It’s like the internet is telling women, you’d be a lot prettier if you smiled. If you said that to a woman at work, that would be harassment. But online, it’s okay.” ANDY YOU ARE A FEMINIST LEGEND.
If only more people understood like Andy.
Personally though, I relate more to the one and only Jeremy Renner and his Resting Murder Face.